Self Portrait Day 2013

It was self portrait day yesterday (Nov 1st), so of course I had to do one.

Sorry about the lack of updates, I've been working with stuff I can't show, but I've been drawing. :)

And I don't believe I put an update on the exhibition here, but I did get in! With two pictures! One of very, very few. It was two of the pencil sketches, the kid with the ice flake and the somewhat random portrait that I wasn't sure if I should turn in. Beats me, but there you got it. Apparently there was a bit of discussion about getting even more pieces in, but they opted for those two.

Was awesome to be at the opening, surreal experience seeing people standing in front of my work discussing it while waving their arms. It's currently moved to another gallery, so it's still going. :)

Anyways, SPD 2013. :) Had to rush it as midnight approached, as usual. Had a nice swollen and red face after some bad face paint on Halloween, but it came out looking like me anyways.

Random old sketches

So, to offset the somewhat serious last post with all serious art and serious feelings and serious thinking about it all, here's some random old sketches where I've just been fooling around...

Here's one that I just realised the last days that I never posted online. It's just a VERY random doodle, but for some reason some people like it a lot. There's several versions of it, none of them finished in any way, but here's one. To my defense, I seem to remember there was rum involved. ;)

And here's another one. I was browsing through my old files and dragged out some that I found had some potential. This one I've clearly used some obscure reference for the girl, but it's a year ago since I worked on it, and I can't find the reference anywhere, no idea where I picked it up, so I just randomly started painting on it again.

Exhibition and learning things about myself

So, what a ride I am going through these days.

Yesterday was the day where I had to deliver for the exhibition. I was originally going to deliver pencils drawings and oil paintings. I realised after a while that I would not want to put in the oil paintings, and wanted to go for digital prints.

First of all, I had no idea I would be so nervous when delivering them.

When I showed up, I was so nervous I had to write my address six times before I nailed it. Nobody could read my signature on the agreement because my hands were shaking. I wrote the address instead of the title on two of the labels before I got it right. It really surprised me, as I can usually go into anything without any nerves, or at least not much to speak of. Stagefright has never been a problem for me, it helps me getting more focused on the task at hand.

Husband later told me I've been running around like a headless chicken during the last two days before delivery, and in general being stressed the last week. Threw him back a bit I guess, since I don't normally do that... Which explains why, when I was framing them before turning them in, I managed to ruin two nails, breaking one frame and go through countless cuts before getting the "frame within the frame" right, I guess. Gold medal in clumsiness. 

I think I've narrowed it down to not so much being afraid of being judged by the jury, or maybe not get any works in, but for the first time seriously actually trying live out part of my dream. It might be a long way away yet, but that was a huge step just to get the foot in, getting told I should turn something in, for the first time delivering something to physically hold on to and not online, and actually delivering without chickening out or anything.

Second, I had no idea this exhibition was so big. When I got there I realised this might be a bit bigger than I thought it would be. At some point, someone told there was 500 and only 80 or 90 works would get in. Since I was in the state I was, I didn't quite grab if it was 500 people or 500 works, but I really, really hope it was works. Since every person can deliver up to 6 works. I just saw a few works too, so I have no idea of the level there, the moment they were turned in they put them face in against the wall.

Well, anyways... Here's what I end up turning in. First the three pencils. I need to get that photographing pencils down better, I got some glare on the pictures, but I was running out of time, and of course the last day it was pouring down and dark clouds outside, and barely any light came into the house. Did my best though.

The first one I really like. I was gonna render the middle there like a huge piece of ice that you take of the water on the ground during autumn or spring, but I rather liked it being shiny white instead. The second one I also like a lot. I was gonna fix some stuff on it, but the paper is really rough and I've been working on it for a while - and realised that doing anything else on it would probably start to mess with the paper so I left it alone. When turning it in, the lady in the drawing department told me go turn it into graphics/prints even though I told her it was pencil, and another person over there had to come over and tell her it was indeed pencil - she needed to give it a second look. I have no idea if that's a good or a bad thing. The last one I feel ended up a bit slapdash, and you might say it was a plan B for pencils. I considered not turning it in, but did in the end.

Then it was the prints. I have talked to them about it, about turning them in instead of oils, and they were kind of enthusiastic with it, at least the lady I've talked to about it, since they've never had any digital works before in that exhibition at all. Especially since they first had no idea where to put them, and it ended up in "other techniques" instead of prints or drawings or paintings or anything. At least they didn't go into photo. There was both "oh, this is a first!" with smiles and nods - and people clearly clueless about how to make anything on a computer in the first place. I have no idea if being the first is a good or a bad thing, if there's anyone there that knows anything about it or if they think it's just a matter of clicking three buttons before you get an image...

Anyway, since I had already used quite an amount of time trying to get oils done in time, I knew that it was best for me to go with earlier works for the prints, so you have probably seen these ones before. The first is the one of my daughter, minus her name that is usually there, it didn't feel right to have her name on it, and also I had to go a couple of rounds with myself before putting an image of my daughter in there. If it goes through, it might be sold, and I had to think hard about my daughter being on someones wall. The second is the dad wizard, the one I made after we thought our daughter was playing a magician or a wizard and then she loudly announced that she was "dad". The third is the one I did for the light, after taking a bunch of photos during some intense winter sun, and I tried to capture it in a drawing.

And in the end, it might sound weird to you, but if I don't get any of them through (after all it is a massive amount of works and they need to chip it down whatever it was that was 500) it actually won't matter too much, but it would be a huge bonus. Just going through with this, delivering on time even not what I had expected to turn in, is a huge step. I have been congratulating myself all day even though the jury hasn't even started looking at them yet. Kind of proud of myself no matter the result. :)

Upcoming exhibition - I hope!

Alright, I've been on a crazy ride these last weeks, so I've not posted anything outside facebook, really... Good things happening all over the place.

One of the good things are that I was told to submit to an exhibition that I'm delivering my work for on Monday or Tuesday. I was hitting it hard with pencils and oil painting, but I have decided to not submit my oils since I'm not liking them enough. It's been over ten years since I worked with oils, and didn't know much about how to do it then either. At the moment it feels like the oils are working against me rather than for me, and I'd like some more practice with them before I let anyone see them. As per now, they don't look so good skill wise because I am struggling a bit with the medium.

I'm doing A3 drawings in pencil still though. Here's a couple of progress shots:

 The one with the covered hair is coming with me for sure. The other one I don't know yet. I'm working on several, I'll see which ones are best when the weekend is over. :)

Also, since I am not turning in oils, I am turning in prints of my digital work instead. They don't really know where to put it yet, but are very positive about taking it in, so we'll see if it ends up in the "other" category or not when they see them.

Having a hard time deciding which one to take to print tomorrow though, nailed it down to eight, of which I am partial to 2, 5 and 7. I might feel a bit weird turning in 4, so I don't know yet. A lot of people like 4 the best though, so I might do it if I remove her name. 2 and 3 has myself as a model though, so if it's 2 or 3 and then 4 and 7 it'll be a family group... :P

Also, everything have to pass through three judges, so I might be biting my nails just a little bit the next week....  Wish me luck! :)

And yes, I *will* try to get some proper photos taken of my pencils this weekend when the light is better. :) 

Final on the Face challenge

So, here it goes.

Think I've lost the drive on it, so I'm gonna stop here so I don't ruin it. :)

  

Here's where I stopped on Thursday, the only thing I changed from that was darkening the hair towards the bottom so the focal point didn't go too much there. And blurring the background. 

 

Further on the Face anatomy and expression challenge

Started to tighten the drawing up a bit. For some reason the initial stages of the picture, like getting the shapes right, for once didn't take an eternity, but getting the details right does. It's usually the other way around. Might be because I am starting to get used to my own face with all the self portraits lately...

Anatomicae; Face anatomy and expression WIPs

Soooo... I wanted to do Anatomicae this time around... And I thought I'd give myself a challenge, and I did. :P




Where I am currently at:

I realised that I have to work with a mirror, since I needed help from husband to take ref pics, and he doesn't know how to operate my camera. And holding an angry expression while working for what will prolly become hours and hours is just not happening.... :P I took some horrible no make-up pictures, I'll show you just one, and that's the nicest. Disclaimer: I usually do not look this dorky... I hope.

And here's some progress shots...

And the first screenshot of current work posted in the challenge thread:

Bear and butterfly

And now for something completely different!

Bear and butterfly, done for a lottery/tombola at my daughters kindergarten. Hopefully the kid who gets it will like and not be scared by it. Which is why I made it smile. Without teeth. :)

Personal struggle

So, there's still a bunch of things to cope with. Together with the family that has shrunk substantially since New Years Eve due to deaths, there is a lot going on with other things in life as well. And I have to do a lot of changes to get where I want to be within the next five or ten years. It's a mental struggle to change my way of thinking, but I am working hard at it. Some times it feels like I am standing as a point in a shield wall or an officer urging the rest of myself to get on with it, other times it feels like I am not putting up a struggle at all, I am just letting whatever steamroll over me.

I am sure this is something a lot of people can recognize themselves in. My way to cope with it is to get some of it out on "canvas". This is partly a yell against myself, as well as a yell against the female standards that I see everywhere - using myself as a model for both reasons.

Still on the basics on this, it might change a lot or it might not - it's changed quite a bit already. But it's rather therapeutic which is the most important. It's what I use my drawing for, after all. :)

Whenever I get the essence of what I want on this image, I am going to try to get it on "real" canvas. But I feel better dealing with the early stages of the painting digitally, as I feel there's a bit more freedom when it comes to change things totally around.

I actually made a final

I didn't think I'd do this when I started working on this picture again last night, but I have in fact turned in a final.

Totally ran out of time, but I decided I wanted to turn it in. For my own sake. I do not know if I might've been a little late in the posting though, I did post an earlier version earlier today just to be sure, we'll see.

Anyways. Here it is. Click on it to see it in bigger version.

The text, just in case you can't read it:

Papa John is the brother of one of the most famous Voodoo Queens in the area, and this tight knit family runs everything together. While his sister is the known one that makes charms and holds ceremonies in the front, Papa John is in the back and fiercely protective of the family - he holds them together and protect them in ways both mundane and arcane. The "family" is a huge group of people more or less related to each other, with different economical means and various backgrounds and genes.

He is known to all the kids in the area for always having a piece of candy or two in his pockets, and always having a knee to sit on or ear to listen with if needed. In return they run errands, bring him everything interesting they find, tell him everything they have heard - and does the occasional small theft if needed for something. He is usually seen with at least one or two with him or trailing him.

The more grown up residents in the area are still not quite sure if Papa John is a rather bad man with a sugar coating, or a very good man hiding behind a dark front.

Happy accidents

Yes, I love Bob Ross. I wish I had him as I grew up and didn't discover him as a grown up. Heh.

I think I just might have hit something. Like, it's accidentally good-ish. Maybe I'll manage to finish after all?

Family getting smaller

Been some busy weeks. To say it that way.

First, I lost my mother-in-law quite unexpectedly, even though she has been ill, it was a surprise that she would leave this world. The fact that she lived in US (as the rest of my husbands family) and we in Norway complicated matters, and we did not get to the memorial. She was a true free spirit, and she's made quite the impression on my kid even though they never met in real life. It was our hope that we would get to US or she and her husband to Norway pretty soon so they could meet, I am sure they'd hit it big time, and connect instantly.

Then my grandfather got ill, and after we had taken turns sitting next to his bed night and day for over eight days, he went quietly with several of us with him as he left last Saturday. He managed to get 99, he'd been 100 in September. My grandmother went in January before she managed to hit 99, so they didn't stay long apart.

So, to say it this way, I've not had time for the challenge.

I started on it again today though, because I like the picture ideas in my head, even though they're pretty far from what I have on "paper" at the moment. For some reason I thought the deadline was the 5th and not today. I won't manage before the deadline, but it doesn't matter, I think I'll finish it anyway.

Couple of earlier shots:

Started on the SB Explore 2013 Challenge

It's been a busy few weeks, haven't had much time for drawing, and what I have done I can't really show at the moment. I unfortunately lost my mother-in-law suddenly and unexpected last weekend, and that has in fact inspired me very much to go forward on my art interest, an extra push if you want. Life's too short to not fill it with what you love.

BUT.. I also started on the Voodoo SB Explore 2013 Concept Art Workshop Challenge. (Got it's own forum in CGHUB.) So I can show what I have done there!

Started yesterday, then I worked some more on it today. Haven't decided yet if I should keep the background simple or throw up some recognizable New Orleans architecture yet. Also, I know it's prolly a dumb idea to not dive directly into colour since I have a hell of a time with colour usually, and putting them on a monochrome after sketching might be tricky for me.... but we'll see.

I liked the idea behind this character right away, and here is the sketch I posted to make my own thread in there yesterday, might as well show that here too:

Birthday gift, final Fire and Ice, random coloured pencils

First, a birthday gift for a friend of mine. I had to stop due to the light, but I might get some time fix a couple of things on it tomorrow before I give it away, but I thought I'd post it anyway. I can post it again if I get more done.

Also, here is the final that I did the for the Anatomicae challenge, Fire and Ice. I didn't have any more time to use on it, and to be honest, I've spent too much time on it anyway, hehe.

Aaand here is a rather hopeless dive into the coloured pencils again... ;) For some reason I cannot manage to take a proper picture of it though, so it looks even weirder as a photo... It might be that there's too much "stuff" there, and that the paper has been acting up a bit since I kept adding more... So that it shines in weird places no matter what. Anyway, it also isn't THAT colourful when looking at it in real life, I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing... :P

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Current Anatomicae, Fire and Ice

So, the current Anatomicae over at CGHUB has an extension. Maybe I will try to finish this thing anyway then. I think I might have been a bit over- ambitious, I wanted to do a tricky one with reflections, but I kinda forgot all the other stuff that would come into play (like, oh man, the shadows... the SHADOWS!), hehe...

I didn't post earlier since I was pretty sure I'd not finish this in time, but I might have time tomorrow to try to finish this thing. I've already spent more time than I should on this image, the tricky thing, it's starting to become a power struggle. :P I think I might have to do something else than what I had in mind for the warm light source, we'll see.

So this is where it's currently at:

And here's the earlier progress:

Mixed media and more kid/light study

So, time to post again.

I had tons of fun earlier today mixing pencils, ink and coloured pencils. Which is funny, because I used to - well, not hate... but not exactly like... - coloured pencils. I have been thinking a bit on how fun I am having doing the traditional stuff lately, and I have come to the conclusion that I used to be really unsure about my work earlier. I would get to a point where I would not dare do anything else on an image, because I was afraid of ruining it. I seem to have lost that feeling and way to work. I think this is one part being more secure on what I am doing (also on fundamentals), one part having played a lot around digitally and now wanting to do the same traditionally, and one part finally getting rid of the "everything I do have to be for a reason to get better, and I need to able to show it off". In other words; I used to feel that if I screwed up it was a wasted effort. Now I realise I learned something anyway. :)

Here's three of the ones I did that I took photos of before the evening fell. There's more, but there's no good light here to take a photo, and the blitz makes more shine than showing anything. :)

 
This one is just me... doing stuff. And not really thinking about it. :D

This I made after rediscovering some pictures from our honeymoon, we did a trip to the petrified forest. I also have a ton of photos from grand canyon, so I guess I'll have a go at that later. :) 

And this is a ferret. It was very fun, kid have this thing with a small, small picture of a ferret on it, and I found the shape nice, so I did the shapes, and went from there. :)

And as the light grew worse, I've done a bit more digitally on the kid that I posted earlier. I have to make sure it doesn't look like the kid that I took the photos of, since I have no permission from the parents, I took the photos myself during a birthday, but I think I'm still managing to pull it off somewhat. I have however done the hands twice now and deleted them. You see, I was so clear on what she was supposed to be looking at there, but I kind of forgot... and didn't write it down. So now I'm trying to remember. Ops. Hopefully you can see that I have progressed on it. :)

Speed painting with kiddo

Got a kid that's home sick, and yesterday we were having fun painting with watercolors. I made this one on a whim, used about one minute on it, and she meant it was good enough to take a photo of, so I had to, haha.

Guess it's a lesson to myself that even if I have just a minute to do something artsy, I can get something out of it. :D 

Pink and stuff

Back to the digital for a little while, even if I got myself some nice new paper - more traditional this weekend, I'd guess.

Anyway, here's an image where I am working on some photo refs I took myself during a birthday party for kids the other day, I prefer to take my own photos so I can focus on the things that I need to learn the most, and took a friggin ton that day. This is turning out pretty pink to be me, I am surprised. ;)

Also, here's some of my progress shots, currently "keeping an eye" on myself trying to find out where and when I am sidetracking too much so I can try to better my process.

Also, on a completely different note, this might be interesting for anyone that follows this blog and at some point was a part of the CA community: Cryptcrawlers DA journal note about not getting paid by CA/TAD and here's Cryptcrawlers CGHUB post about not getting paid by CA/TAD

This situation has now been solved for Brad, which I am happy to hear. TAD: Making it right at Brads DA journal and this is TAD: Making it right  posted by Brad at CGHUB

Coffee Paintings

Yeah, so one evening I decided to paint with... coffee. Blasphemer, you think. Yeah, I'm sure there's people out there that would've loved having the substances I made in an IV drip.... Well, anyway, it was fun and I did some more the day after, as they were a bit "light" in the color from the evening before. Was a fun experiment, I might do some more of this. I just need some more paper and tape it down next time, I'd totally forgot about the warping, hehe.

Saturday Night Chimera

So, I had a couple of glasses of red wine, and decided that pencil wasn't a good medium, since it doesn't have an "undo" button.

So I made a chimera. I know it looks two-dimensional. Red wine, right? Eeeezza sketch.

  

And to put at least a little substance to the post, let's make this all about how I got inspiration... We made snowlights tonight. Just to show how something totally unrelated can inspire something - here's a couple of photos I took of some of the snowlights, and then I did colour samples (a couple of glasses or red wine, remember?)... I wasn't quite sure I'd manage to do the glow, it was something I'd never done before. Was fun though! :) 

More pencil drawings, having fun!

I am absolutely thrilled about using a pencil again, I haven't even used my tablet since I dragged out the pencils. I thought it might be a drag in the beginning, but I am having SO much fun.

So, here's a couple more. :)

Pencil drawings: Chimpanzee and kid

Well, it's been years and years since I did this properly, but I wanted to have a go with pencils. Felt right to do something I could hold in my hand while working on it.

Anyways, first, here's a chimpanzee!

And I also had a go at trying to draw my kid, it's not really finished, but I might have a brand new go instead of trying to finish this one. It was fun, and it looks like her, so it was a successful first attempt. ;)

I can easily tell that my pencil skills are somewhat rusty though, so I'll need a little time doing this to get things back to working properly again... :)